Well folks, it's been a long time coming. I'm trying really hard to make some changes, and lose this extra weight I've found! I am so tired of feeling like I am living in someone else's body. I'm tired of being disgusted almost to the point of tears when I try to buy any new clothes, or when I have one of those morning that nothings fits right or looks right or feels right on. I'm maxed out, topped out, fed up, you get the picture. I have hesitated at first to say anything about trying to lose weight either here or on facebook because I kept thinking "What if I fail, again? What if I can't do it?" But maybe if I get on here and write, it will be another way of holding myself accountable.
I told Lacey night before last that mommy was going on a diet; those words came out of my mouth before I thought. She asked what a diet was, and I told her it meant that I wanted to be healthy like her. She really is an inspiration to me. The child loves cherry tomatoes and will eat them like candy. She already at 4 years old knows that "too much sugar is not healthy and will make you have black spots on your teef." She's not perfect, she loves an oreo as much as the next kid, but she is very impressionable right now, and I want her to see me making some better food choices and being more active. She begs to play outside even when it's raining and 30 degrees. She would go out if I would let her. So with the weather warming up, we have been spending more time outside, working in the flower beds, and just playing. I hope too that maybe Holt will pick up on a little bit of the healthiness and maybe learn to try a few new things. He is not my best eater. He would live on PB&J, eat it 3 times a day if I would let him!
So I started yesterday on Weight Watchers. I love this program because it is flexible and personal. If I want an oreo, I eat one. I just have to make sure I count the points. I can eat out on this plan, cook at home, whatever. My first goal is to lose 5% of my starting weight, which is about 9.3lbs. I have a number in my mind of what I want to weigh/how much I want to lose, but it is so daunting. I am going to try to just meet smaller goals first. When I lose my 5%, I'm going to treat myself with something like a pedicure!
I am impressed with how yesterday went, I packed my breakfast and lunch for school, and was anticipating eating out at the Teacher's Appreciation Banquet our church was having at the SawMeal Restaurant in Adamsville. When I signed up for the banquet, I was not making healthy choices, so of course I chose the hamburger steak. I asked when I got there if I could change to chicken, and it was kind of a big deal because the food was pre-ordered. I didn't get to stay however, Colby Jane got sick and started throwing up, so I was able to get my food to go. I ended up with a big hamburger steak, a small serving of green beans, and a huge baked potato. When I sat down to eat at home, I cut my meat and potato in half, and put them in the fridge for lunch the next day. On my potato, I just put salt, 2 tablespoons of light sour cream, and a little drizzle of A1 steak sauce. It was good! I ate the salad that came with my meal before she got sick at the restaurant. So the salad (with 2tbsp ranch), steak, potato, & green beans ended up being about 14 points. I have 35 each day. Colby Jane ended up being up sick most of the night, and I had eaten supper at about 7:30pm. So by 3am this morning, I was starving! I resisted the urge to eat the left over birthday cake from this weekend that was in the microwave and still fabulous I'm sure, and I measured out 3/4 c of Lucky Charms and 1/2 c milk. That was all I needed. I love cereal at bedtime or in the middle of the night as a snack, so that satisfied my craving without breaking the bank. Yes I would have liked to have eaten more, but what I ate was enough. I put the points on my tracker (I'm doing online by the way, using my iPhone) and was glad I didn't crumble under the pressure.
I had my friend Andrea make a "before" picture of me at school yesterday. I can hardly bring myself to look at it. When I've made some visible progress, I will post that with my first of what I hope is MANY "after" pictures!